Waiting in HOPE l Spring Ladies Group l Jan 25th

It will be our first meeting for 2016 so it's a great time to join in and allow others to support you and walk beside you. I am really looking forward to our book and as I've been praying I know God led us to this book specifically. Many of you are feeling like giving up on this season, this desire and are wondering WHY? And WHAT WAS (IS) THE POINT of all this pain and struggle? Although I can't answer that specifically for each of you, I can promise that this book will guide you to seek those answers from the only One who can answer the WHY me?

The book is "Green Pastures of a Barren Land": Finding Contentment in Life's Desolate Seasons by Candice Farmer. I know it's a little intense of a title but the book is based on 7 biblical truths, or as she calls them life-saving principles, about God that allowed her to experience wholeness, recovery, deliverance, peace, contentment, and hope. Even after what could have been her life-shattering "incurable barrenness" diagnosis.

Honestly, we all need these Godly perspectives and truths to make it through any hard time, which is why I am most pumped about this study and focusing on how Scripture/God's WORD can transform our wounded and hurting hearts into healed vessels of beauty and peace.

I believe this could be such a great resource for each of you & your soul to cling to during this time. Please read it regardless of if you plan to come to group or not.

And if you know anyone interested in being a part of this group or could use this book, please share and help them know they too are "Not Alone".

Please join us Starting Jan. 25th @ 6:30p

Every other Monday*

Houston's First Baptist Church - Loop Campus: Connection Center

(near missions office, worship center and book store on the first floor) 

*EMAIL FOR DATES (AS THEY MAY CHANGE)

BUT GOD... reflections on a dear friends pain

I have some dear friends who are right now about to make one of the the hardest, gut-wrenching, life-changing, heart-breaking, tearful decisions of their lives.

I don't understand why they are in this situation, nor why anyone has to ever be asking the toughest questions about life and choosing from impossible choices about what to do next. I'm not sure any of us will ever get those answers of why, when we need them.

In this time, watching their hearts be fully devoted to see His Name be made known and His Will to be carried out in their lives above all else. Even in a time of darkness, has made me so proud of them. The strength the Lord has given them is beyond evident to see.

It's a Powerful, Supernatural...Strength, that is only from GOD!

Those statements of "Your Will be Done, Your Glory be made known, above our wants/feelings" are not easy to choose, feel or say at any point, let alone when you feel the bomb of heartbrokenness dropped right on top of you. ("Why would you God" is more the typical response, right? well at least for me)

So, last week they were blindsided at their almost 20 week of pregnancy full body anatomy scan to be told that their baby was "not-compatible with life" and "the baby has too many major issues to survive." >>These are the life-shattering types of moments in our lives where you simply hang on for dear life and pray the Lord can carry you and hold you together as only HE CAN. For those who've never had these moments or anything hard...Praise God! But know one day you likely will. Our Pastor, Gregg Matte often says you are either in a struggle, coming out of one or about to enter into one.

BUT GOD...

{"But God" verses: Psalm 73:26, Psalm 49:14-15, Genesis 50:20, Romans 5:7-8, 1 Corinthians 2:9-10} 

"He can do something with this... I don't know why and I want to see His plans in this now, but maybe He wants to use this for others down the road," said my sweet friend who wisely and powerfully shared with Justin and I only a day after they received their devastating news.

As we talked and reflected that night on all God had been doing in their lives up until this point and the simple ways He has prepared them, protected them and drew them in close and intimately to Himself and each other the last few months, I was thankful. Thankful for a God who cares about us so tenderly and lovingly. They shared how months ago they had been faced with their first real life struggle/trial and had to choose Him and an eternal perspective over earthly possessions (that are meaningless - yet feel so important at the time). God used this trial in their lives as a time to prune and refine their hearts. God knew they would be able to handle "what was to come" with Him after facing this heartbreak first.

He Knows what we Need... so you can TRUST!

BUT GOD... Yes He allowed earthly (worldly) possessions to be taken from them but in the process gave them a stronger faith, marriage and perspective to want Him more.

So That...

When this current pain struck they would have Him as their solid foundation, only hope, purpose and protector to walk them through it.

I have no idea the pain they are facing or the struggle before them. I can only imagine, and it hurts in my gut. As badly as they want to choose life and hope for their baby and its future, they are being shown and told by numerous doctors, specialist, surgeons and hospitals that ultimately the baby is possibly only alive now because of the mother pumping life into it, especially since vital organs are missing or not functioning. Even being told - "If only there were enough surgeries to even make life or survival an option out of the womb then maybe things would be different".

Don't hear me wrong - listen - I am Pro-Life all the way and truly have seen and believe in a God who can do "immeasurably more than we think or imagine" and believe that "all things are possible for God"! Yet, there are those areas in life and faith that are "gray," hard choices do exist where "black and white" views aren't possible. The best way that Justin and I have been able to wrap our hearts and brains around this situation is thinking about how as a parent or loved one you Never want to be in these situations, but if you were, then how long and how much do you allow someone you love to be in pain and suffer? How long do you keep them attached to life-support? I know we all have different views and thoughts on this one, yet all of us will agree on one thing... we are not there and we really don't know what we would choose. It's that Simple. No judgment (that's not our place anyway). God directs each of us differently and sometimes that means choosing between 2 impossible situations/outcomes.

But I do know... their sweet 1st baby will be a precious gift to live on in our hearts for those that know and love them! Its life will matter because of the parents choosing to share, use it, embrace the hard, moral wall they had to face that no one can relate to unless they are in those shoes. Begging for God (just like Jesus at the Garden) to "Take this cup from me, but if it be your Will... I understand"

BUT GOD...

Will make Beauty from Ashes! I've seen it in my own life and my own losses. The Waiting in Hope ministry as it is today is a direct legacy of our sweet baby Hope, that we lost at 11/12 weeks back on December 5, 2014. Her life has mattered because we chose to be vulnerable, open and say Yes for Him to use our pain in Infertility for His ultimate plan to bring hope and peace to others. Even though it hurt.

I pray for this legacy and this hindsight for my dear friends! I pray that they see more of Jesus than ever before and that satan's nasty attacks and desires to use shame, guilt or conviction by others to defeat them would be banished from their story and lives, starting right now. In Jesus Name, Amen!

Worshiping IN the Waiting vs. Worshiping to END the Waiting

Many of us have experienced situations in which we've lost touch with an old friend. You may have once been so close, spending lots of time together and sharing all your joys and struggles with each other. Then at some point you parted ways either because of a hurtful situation causing a loss of trust, or it simply happened based on the busy-ness of life or the physical distance that often comes with a move for a job, etc. Regardless of the reason, they carry on throughout life with a sort of out-of-sight, out-of-mind mentality even though you may have tried to reach out to them often over the years. What can be fascinating is when you notice that they all of the sudden start wanting to come back into the picture pretty quickly when they either want or need something from you, or they find out you got engaged and are trying to snag an invitation to your wedding. Take a moment to consider how that would make you feel. Does the word "used" come to mind?

I would dare to suggest that many times we are guilty of giving God the same treatment. We call out to Him more and pursue a stronger relationship with Him when we want something or in times of need. If something is not happening as fast as we would like for it to, we pursue Him even harder because in today's culture that is how you get results. Everyone hates waiting - whether it be in lines, in traffic, for job promotions or any other aspect of life. No matter how many times we hear the words that God's timing is perfect, from our perspective He sometimes seems late. Can you recall a time when you felt that God was actually early on something you were waiting for?

Over the past 2 years Kelley and I have been waiting on God to provide a child for our family. As you will find out if you read the rest of our blog, it has been quite a difficult journey emotionally for both of us and even physically for Kelley. There have been ups and downs along the way including the hope of a pregnancy back in November only to end in a miscarriage a few weeks later. We have sought help from fertility specialists who have been very knowledgeable, but still no baby.  There has been an abundance of waiting, which I particularly am not very good at.

I realized recently that although we were honestly seeking God and trusting Him to provide for us the entire time, it was during the rounds of fertility treatments that I would become more passionate about seeking God and crying out to Him for help. You see, the messed up part about this is that deep down that might have been all I was doing sometimes, just asking Him for "assistance." I was getting tired of waiting and I guess without realizing it I had figured that I should tap into all the resources I had at my disposal to have a better chance at getting the results I wanted.  In my messed up mind, 

Fertility treatment + God = Baby.
Seriously? How did it come to this? I had reduced God to a variable in a simple math equation.

This all came to light when we were forced to take a break from fertility treatments. During that time period I started to notice my desire to seek and worship God slowly decreasing. I wasn't mad at God, I just knew it wasn't possible for us to get pregnant during that month or two so I didn't really need anything from Him right then. Sadly, I found myself sort of putting my relationship with God on hold. Wow!

After recovering from the embarrassment of this discovery that my motivation for worshiping God had mostly been to END the waiting period I was in, I began to search for what was at the root of all this and look at other areas of my life that may have been affected by this skewed mindset. How could I correct the course I was on and begin to truly worship God IN the waiting, regardless of the outcome?

I first needed a better understanding of what true worship was. According to Louie Giglio, one of my favorite Christian speakers, "Worship is our response to God for who He is and what He has done, expressed in and by the things we say and how we live."

Let's break that down for a minute. "Worship is our response TO God." It is not something we do in order to get a response FROM God. I could stop right here and that would be enough for many of us to chew on for days. Continuing on, "for who He IS and what He has done," is a great reminder that we still have reason to worship Him just for who He is even during times when we feel like He hasn't done much for us lately, or at least not what we would have wanted him to do if He were our little servant or a puppet on a string. Hasn't God done enough already even if we never experienced another single blessing for the rest of our lives? He has given us abundant life and eternal salvation, which is more than anyone or anything else could ever give!

Although applying this newfound understanding can make worshiping a little bit easier, it still doesn't eliminate the difficulty of waiting.

Many of us say we want to know God's will for our lives right now and we so desperately want God to just end the waiting period we are currently in. But when He begins to show us what He has next for us, we often respond initially with fear and dread if it does not line up with the plans we had conjured up in our own minds. Our fear of unfulfilled expectations becomes stronger than our faith at this moment. The only way to overcome this fear is to trust God to increase our faith as we confidently wait on Him to show us what’s next. Learning to worship IN the waiting is not a one-time event however, but an ongoing process.

Isaiah 40:31 says "but those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not faint.”

Ultimately I have decided that worshiping through the wait all comes down to this:

“Waiting becomes worship when our as-yet-unfulfilled hopes and dreams take a secondary place to knowing, loving, and trusting our God. God is worthy of our worship and our praise should not be contingent upon the gifts He gives or chooses to withhold.”

If you are waiting on God to provide children, a spouse or a different way to answer the "What do you do for a living?" question, don't lust after what you perceive as the next thing in life. Instead, trust and submit yourself to the Lord. Wait on Him by worshiping Him and allowing Him to grow your faith.

“Now in this hope we were saved, yet hope that is seen is not hope, because who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with patience.”  Romans 8:24-25

Even though I have never considered myself to be much of a writer, I found the desire to write about this experience because I know how easy it was to fall into this trap of worshiping God more to End the waiting, and I have no doubt that there are many other people who have fallen into this trap and may not even realize it yet. The waiting periods will be different for everyone. My hope is that these words would at least cause some of you to question your motives in your pursuit of God during your times of waiting, and that you would be able to truly worship Him simply for who He is and what He has already done throughout your entire journey.

Trusting in the Lord... in the wait

Justin and I are both being refined and challenged in the area of trusting God. We want to fully and completely Trust God with our situation. Not just “saying” we are trusting, but instead a trust that leads you to rest everything on Him without watching or preparing yourself for what “could happen”. Far too often I think I am trusting God when I tell Him with my mouth “God I trust you” but it never reached my heart. I was falsely saying it in hope that the elusive trust would then be created in me. I may often say it when really I’m keeping a close watch on my emotions, feelings and plans to “guard my own heart.” But let’s be honest, neither of those options will bring real peace or comfort to our soul.

Only true and complete Trust in our Lord and Savior can do that.

This kind of trust starts with a confidence and faith in Christ, as you turn your mindset to be that of “God you are who you say you are and you can hold all things together. Therefore I Trust you with all my being, for you know the plans and you are able to do anything, even the impossible. But regardless of your plan, you will and are the only One who can hold me together whether good or bad!”

With this new approach in Truly Trusting…thus far we’ve experienced peace regardless of the circumstance. During the treatments, IUI procedure and even in the current waiting to know if we are pregnant.

Waiting is a whole blog post for another day… but anyone going through this knows that all you experience is WAITING. Constant, continual and reoccurring waiting. And who’s good at that?
But it seems that when you are fully trusting (with your whole weight, heart, expectations) the waiting becomes easier, crazy I know. But I’ve experienced that God can do that, He can turn your waiting into a pleasure (maybe not always that far… but an assured promise). When your focus is on Him and His plan, not you and your desperately needed plan, He moves in. BIG. And right now I am daily thankful for Him moving Big in my heart, because I desperately need that.

Here are a few examples of ways He has been moving… 
(keep your eyes open and looking, I promise He is speaking) 

Last week we realized that for a while now Justin & I were both praying and reading Psalms 33:20-23 daily over our current situations. (Read We feel so blessed… where I previously wrote about this scripture.)
And today during worship service, we sang “Waiting Here for You” (by Christy Nockels) and wow I couldn’t have picked a better song at that moment to bring before the Lord. Soon after the song ended a dear friend (passed me a note... so high school I know - I loved it) she shared a verse in her sweet note that of course began my tears. But the verse was actually one I had been writing in my journal and without realizing it praying through this week. Psalm 130:5-8 “I wait for Jehovah (Lord), my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchman wait for the morning. O Israel, put your hope in the Lord, for with the Lord is unfailing love and with him is full redemptive abundance. He himself will redeem Israel…”

Interestingly enough, while writing this Pandora was playing a song expressing my thoughts and words perfectly, I had to stop and add them. God’s Amazing that way. (See I told you...look for ways He is speaking, just ask for Him to show you - it helps in the waiting times)

Bethany Dillon “All That I Can Do”
Oh, all that I can do is hold onto You
And follow where You lead
Where You’re leading me.     
And all that I can do is hold onto You
And let You bring me through, oh

When the waves begin to rise
And all my hope fails
In confidence I’ll close my eyes
Trusting You’ll be there, be there

All that I can do is hold onto You
And let You bring me through
It’s all that I can do

In this dreaded 2 week wait, all I can do is hold onto the Lord, trust and let Him bring me through like the perfectly timed song reminds us. It is truly all that I (you) can do! Waiting isn't as hard even when the water rises and all our remaining hope fails when we choose Trust over our expectations and desires we instead surrender saying "thy will be done, Amen!" Lord, you've got this and "in confidence I'll close my eyes - trusting you'll be there."

Friends, are you or do you realize that all you can do is hold onto the Lord our God during your waiting? Or are you like so many out there more focused on holding on to your own ways and plans, like a selfish little child, shaking your fist "I know better" "where have you been?"

Is your waiting only about and for it ending? Is your waiting only about and for your desired answer? 

2 Corinthians 4:18 - So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (NIV) So we don't look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever. (NLT)

Or even in your waiting and unknowns, you are concerned more with the glory of God and His goodness to be known. Not merely to display your own efforts, resolutions, and deserved earthly blessings. This became my prayer in and for my heart. That I would become more concerned with His glory, His will, and His will to be done in and through my life and infertility journey. I pray this would become your prayer and focus in your waiting and trusting too. Amen.

2 Corinthians 1:20 (NIV) For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God.

Hebrews 11:1 (MSG) It is the confident assurance that something we want is going to happen. It is the certainty that what we hope for is waiting for us, even though we cannot see it up ahead.