A Personal Journey Through Loss

When I was asked if I wanted to contribute to this week, I honestly had no idea what I could even write about: What had I endured? What had I felt? What did I know? But then, during Easter the Lord birthed such a deeper understanding of His death and resurrection in light of our babies in heaven, that I knew He was calling me to write about how we are able to find hope in our suffering.

I haven’t walked through infertility in the same way many of you have. In 2013, my husband and I walked through two miscarriages and struggled to get pregnant between and after both of them. Though during that season was incredibly painful, and seemed to last forever, I know some of you have endured many more years of waiting, as well tremendous loss too —each of our stories are different, so unique. We each come from a different place. God plans individual, different paths for us and for that I am so grateful. It means that we get live out 2 Corinthians 1:3, which calls us to comfort one another just as God is our comfort. We get to love, listen, and encourage one another despite where we are in our own journeys.

As I sat in our Good Friday service and listened to the description of the Jesus’ death, I was hit with such a weight in the significance of His death and how it relates to the death we experience here on earth.

During our Easter service, our pastor taught on 1 Corinthians 15:50-58. It speaks of the mystery of our perishable bodies being raised again on the day that Jesus comes again. Though our bodies are struck with sin and death in this life, we have an immeasurable hope in living eternally with Christ. I was struck with the reality that our bodies have tasted in a very literal sense the death from this broken world. I will be 100% honest in saying that I don’t fully understand what walking through the pain of infertility is like, and I am still learning what it looks like to encourage you. I do understand pain, from when we miscarried, and I do understand the pain of feeling empty, of feeling like your body is failing you in the very thing it was created to do.

Every day we are reminded of death, whether that is from miscarriage, the loss of a loved one or what we see happening in our world. The reality of death, whatever form that looks like in your life, stings. It is so incredibly painful, at times the weight can seem unbearable. This passage teaches us that our bodies are a temporary dwelling place. “When the sound of the last trumpet gives way, the dead will be raised to life and we will be changed,” 1 Corinthians 15:52.

When this finally happens, the sting of death will be no more. Though Jesus died on the cross, He did not stay dead. Because of His resurrection we GET to live in the reality that just as Christ died and was raised again, so is the same for us. We will one day get to live in Revelation 21, where ALL things are made new. The brokenness of your womb, the emptiness you feel, will experience complete healing and restoration! There will be no more pain, no more tears, no more hurting.

Isaiah 25:8-9 says, “He will swallow up death forever, and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces, and the reproach of his people he will take away from all the earth, for the LORD has spoken. It will be said on that day, ‘Behold, this is our God; we have waited for him, that he might save us. This is the LORD; we have waited for him; let us be glad and rejoice in his salvation.’”

1 Corinthians 15:50-56 echoes Jesus’ power. It is an anthem cry for the victory Christ has over death and therefore as believers, we will one day have too:

"death is swallowed up in victory."

"O death, where is your victory?"

"O death, where is your sting?"

Though we have tasted the very sting of death, we get to move forward in the victory and freedom that Christ has overcome it—we don't need to be bound by the death and emptiness our wombs experience.

We know though on this earth, there will be pain and death, it is only temporary. It may seem like an impossibility to live with that grief and move forward in your walk, but you can, we can — one day at a time. We can move forward.

So how can we respond in light of this reality? We are called to be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain (1 Corinthians 15:58).

The season of waiting, of loss, of grief is such a difficult one. It is hard. We are never promised an easy life. We are never promised children or total happiness on this side of heaven. But let me encourage you, everything you are walking through right now is preparing you for what is to come. It is transforming your heart and is meant to draw you near to the throne of grace—Jesus—that is able to understand our weakness, our brokenness and our pain. He is able to sympathize and comfort and bring peace, unlike any other. Our sorrows here on earth are NEVER wasted! Walking through infertility and miscarriage will never be easy. It’s not meant to be. But friend, I want to encourage you to dwell on this beautiful truth that this isn’t the end. Your body will be restored and made whole.

So, I am praying each of you feel the closeness of the Lord in a new way today, praying that His power over the grave gives you an immeasurable amount of hope in the midst of your deepest sorrows and longings. I want you to feel the goodness of the Lord in a very tangible way and He opens your heart and perhaps your eyes to see a glimpse into the work He is doing!

Ashlee KaraschI am a wife and mama to two boys (2 and 3) and a little girl on the way! I am passionate about Jesus and growing in wisdom and knowledge of the Bible. I love growing and caring for indoor plants and watching them grow into something beautiful and I love baking! My vision in creating Lilia Grace is to bring biblical encouragement and meaningful products to the hurting heart walking through early pregnancy loss. lilia-grace.comhello@lilia-grace.com

-Waiting in HOPE- A Personal Journey Through Loss