“You’re in Saturday,” she told me, three years into my infertility journey. The truth of those words hit with extraordinary weight.
“We know Sunday is coming,” this wise woman went on, “but right now, you’re in the darkness and messiness of the in between.”
The “messy middle,” she called it.
I nodded through tears. Oh how this Easter Saturday metaphor resonated.
When you stop and think about it, Good Friday and Easter Sunday seem to receive all the focus. But what about Saturday? What was that day like?
For the ones who loved Jesus, it must have been one of the darkest days ever. A day filled with agonizing confusion, doubt, sorrow, and grief. As the reality of Jesus’ death sunk in, the pain deepened. The weight of it must have been crushing.
Did they believe resurrection was coming? They didn’t know that the next day would change the course of history. They clung to hope that the crucifixion was not the end of the story … but doubt must have filled their minds. It sure felt like the end of the story in the darkness and mess of Saturday.
You might be feeling the same way today. In the midst of infertility, you might be clinging to the hope that the grief you’re enduring today won’t last forever. You believe God leads you through valleys, and trust that he’ll use infertility as part of a larger story that will be for your good and his glory. But it’s hard to shake those nagging doubts.
Let me repeat what is true, dear sister.
We KNOW Sunday is coming.
Christ’s resurrection is the very definition of hope. And even though this truth encourages us, it doesn’t erase the sorrow, pain, and darkness we currently experience in our waiting.
Without the depth of Saturday’s grief and darkness, the glory of Sunday could not be what it is.
You can’t know the outcome of your infertility journey. But take heart, dear sister. Because we know Sunday is coming, we can grieve Saturday with hope.
Jaclyn Toscas is a writer and contributor on the content team of Waiting in Hope. She grew up in the Houston suburb of The Woodlands and lives in the Washington DC area with her husband of six years. Through her 5-year journey of infertility, IVF and loss, she has discovered great passion in helping women rediscover God’s goodness through their pain.