Walking in Wisdom
Answers. That’s all I wanted. Explanations for why we weren’t getting pregnant. Roadblocks spotted and removed so we could finally reach our destination and have a baby.
Our reproductive endocrinologist discovered one problem – endometriosis – and tried to excise it. But her final conclusion shocked me: unexplained infertility. How is that even a diagnosis? Shouldn’t fertility specialists know what’s preventing fertility? Why couldn’t they figure out how to fix us?
The not-knowing aspect of infertility aggravated me. I desperately sought information because I thought it would help. The greater the knowledge, the greater the comfort and confidence that we’d find a solution. I wanted to know what God was up to, to see His plans and commandeer them if need be. Totally ridiculous, I know, but those were the desires driving my thoughts at the time.
Even though I loved the Lord and prayed for His guidance, I didn’t truly seek wisdom; I wanted knowledge. I wasn’t believing in His goodness or sovereignty; I was banking on my own strength and determination to realize my dream of becoming a mom.
“Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered” Proverbs 28:26.
Seeking medical attention isn’t inherently wrong. We can and should take care of our bodies to honor the Lord (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). If our spouses are onboard, we can pursue testing and possibly treatment for the physical conditions affecting our reproductive abilities.
Taking these steps into the unknown carries the risk of relying too heavily on our own understanding and/or the doctors’ advice. We can misplace our faith and source of comfort in people or possibilities, rather than in the unchangeable, steadfast character of God. Whether we’re trying fertility treatments or pursuing adoption, we can’t assume we know what’s happening, or that doctors will know what’s going on, if a solution can be found, if a treatment will work, if adoption plans will turn out as hoped, and on and on.
To walk in wisdom as we endure infertility, we must stake our trust firmly in the Rock of our salvation. Jesus used this analogy in his first and longest sermon to his followers:
“Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock” (Matthew 7:24-25).
Being wise, according to Jesus, requires hearing His Word and acting on it. The Bible is a lamp for our feet and a light to our path. It doesn’t provide all the answers we might want in terms of explaining exactly why God is allowing us to experience infertility. It’s not a Magic 8 Ball we can shake to tell us which options we should pursue to address our childlessness. The truth it reveals transcends these short-term questions and uncertainties, informing us about who God is and who we are.
Friends, we can’t avoid the fact that the road of infertility is dark and hazy. As much as science and technology have progressed, they can’t deliver guaranteed answers or solutions. Adoption agencies and consultants can’t control the decisions of expectant mothers. Walking through this unseen, intimidating journey demands belief that goes beyond our immediate circumstances and imperfect sources of hope. Walking wisely through infertility requires faith in our loving, unfailing God.
The Bible doesn’t say faith is easy. Paul describes it as a fight and a race. Jesus already conquered the ultimate battle against sin and death, but we still face the struggles of living in a corrupt world and trying to resist sinful temptations.
Take courage, friends. God’s Word equips us to fight the good fight and run the race with endurance, looking to Christ as our hope. Whether facing infertility or another challenging period of uncertainty, we can cling to the truth we know through Scripture and live out our faith surrendered to our holy and gracious Father in heaven.
When the darkness seems overwhelming, and your fears tempt you to rely on your own knowledge or strength, meditate on these verses reassuring God’s trustworthiness:
“And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you” (Psalm 9:10).
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10).
“The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; he knows those who take refuge in him” (Nahum 1:7).
“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock” (Isaiah 26:3-4).
“Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7).
The treasures of wisdom and knowledge are hidden in Christ (Colossians 2:2-3). As we seek to know and love Him more, we can think and act according to the principles He has given us to live in a way that honors Him. And as we grow closer to our Savior, we gain practice drawing near to Him, asking for more of the wisdom that comes from above.
Jenn Hesse - Content Developer - Jenn@waitinginhopeinfertility.com
Jenn Hesse is a writer/content developer at Waiting in Hope Ministries and leads a local infertility and infant loss support group called Graceful Wait, in the Northwest. She and has a passion for equipping women to know Christ through His Word. When she’s not teasing her husband or chasing after her two sons, she writes at her blog, www.jenhesse.com.