Mother’s day. It means something different each year, depending on the season we’re in—A dream that’s another year removed, the joy of answered prayers, the struggle of parenting a toddler, grief over a baby we will never get to hold. We can feel the sting of a relationship on the rocks, a longing for a mom that’s no longer with us this side of Heaven. I believe it’s possible to feel multiple emotions, all at once... and we can feel all of those emotions, heightened, on Mother’s Day.
When I think about Mother’s Day throughout my lifetime, there are many words that come to mind: beautiful, sweet, difficult, painful, tearful, fun, frustrating, depressing, challenging, overwhelming, awesome, lovely, lonely. Not necessarily in that order.
The season of waiting, of loss, of grief, is such a difficult one. It is hard. We are never promised an easy life.
During the first year of trying to conceive, I was able to remain optimistic month after month while Jordan felt the disappointment intensely. I remember her crying at night, “What’s wrong with me?” , “Why can’t I get pregnant?” , “What’s wrong with my body?” I remember praying specifically, “God, whatever the issue is, please let it be me, not Jordan.” I didn’t want her to put the blame on herself. I didn’t want her to feel the pain of being the “cause” of infertility.
It doesn’t hit all at once . . . but seems to flow in wave after emotional wave. Despite what we’ve always heard, having babies doesn’t always follow effortlessly after love and marriage.
So why does Infertility Awareness Week even matter? You may be asking yourself this question and we are so thrilled to be able to share it with you this week.