Katherine Pruitt | Nacogdoches, Texas Local Leader
Hope in the Night Part 2: God’s Sovereign Plan
Do you ever feel torn when it comes to placing complete hope and trust in God’s plan for your life?
I think we could all together say an audible, Oh Yes! And even more so, if you've been down the infertility path. If you read my last post (see above), you know God has been so tangibly faithful in my life from the darkest days of infertility to the brightest with the adoption of our daughter Lillian. Yet, just a short sixteen months after her birth, antsy to grow our family again, I found myself struggling to put my complete hope and trust in God’s sovereign plan. Lillian’s first year was perfection! Coming off the high of her miraculous adoption, experiencing the joys of motherhood for the first time, I thought, “If I could get pregnant, now would be the time to start trying again.” Stephen agreed, so the “search” for a second adoption began.
The complicated circumstances surrounding Lillian’s adoption leave her without any communication with her biological family; thus, we felt it necessary, in order to protect her little heart, any sibling we would adopt should only have a semi-open adoption, at most. After spending a month and a half contacting and researching different adoption agencies, we came up empty handed. There seemed to be no right fit anywhere. I felt defeated, even a bit angry, struggling to trust God’s sovereign plan for our family.
During this same time, Stephen and I took a mission trip in June to Tanzania. As the week drew to a close, my translator and his wife felt lead to pray over us, for a baby. He was an Assembly of God pastor and the type of “praying over” we received was something this Southern Baptist girl had never experienced before; it was, however, an indescribable experience having two nationals pray over us for more than twenty minutes in their native tongue of Swahili. We didn’t know exactly what was being said but knew they were pleading with God on our behalf. I’ll be honest, when they asked to do this I thought, Sure, but you don’t understand: my body is broken. It’s really not necessary, it would be a miracle, and so I was the all too familiar “cautiously optimistic”: quick to forget the miracle God had worked with Lillian’s arrival, now slow to put my trust in Him. The month came and went, as did my period. Upset with God, not understanding why he would bring us this experience just to say no, in the end, I felt myself questioning His goodness.
But dear friends, let me tell you, GOD IS sovereign and GOOD! While we weren’t experiencing a season of night in our lives as dark as we once had prior to Lillian’s arrival, another couple was. Among all of those agencies who didn’t seem to fit, one of them never contacted me, not until two months after my initial inquiry. Now, this is where you can see the sovereign and goodness only God can plan, within the timeline of what followed…
August 19: The adoption agency first emailed me back in response to my inquiry.
August 28: Preliminary paperwork was turned in, but we let them know it would be another year before we would be financially ready to move forward.
August 29: Found out about a baby and family seeming to be our perfect match who was due in October. Spoke with our bank contact and family to see if we could get loans on the off chance the family where to pick us. Got an immediate "Yes we can make it happen!” from both. We contacted the agency to ask for more info.
First two weeks of September: Completed months’ worth of paperwork and a home study.
September 16: Chosen by birth parents.
September 17: Baby was born.
September 18: Surprise! Found out baby had arrived and was healthy.
September 21: Picked up our precious Michael from the hospital.
That right there is a WHOLE LOT of God! What’s even more amazing than the timeline, is the story in the background.
God allowed us to be the hope in someone else’s night.
Michael’s birth parents were living in their own darkness: his birth mom, a relapsed drug addict newly incarcerated, his birth father, a ten year recovered drug addict with failing health, working as a trucker trying to figure out how to raise a baby by himself. They had been down this road before, a few short years prior, placing a different baby for adoption. Struggling with the idea of what to do now, his birth mom reached out in June to an adoption counselor.
Do you see what God did here? God was already answering the prayers prayed halfway around the world! Even when I started another cycle after our mission trip and didn't understand our obvious No to the prayers asked and spoken over us, God was still working out His best plans for me. Even in my doubt and questions of Him - He was being Himself, soverign and good. (Friends I have a feeling He might be doing the same for you now).
The birth parents biggest concern was for their baby boy to be raised in a Christian home with parents living out an active personal relationship with Jesus. When speaking to his birth father on the phone he let us know it was our testimonies, specifically Stephen’s, making it clear to him we were to be Michael’s parents. Michael’s birth mom and birth father's greatest desire was for Michael to come to know Jesus Christ as personal Savior — ours too! I’ll never forget when he said, “I’m 10 years clean, but only one bad decision away from being a full-blown active addict again. I love Jesus and would die for him today; I just have a hard time living for him.” Another comfort he expressed, Michael and his new sister Lillian would have a shared background. Birth parent’s struggling with mental health issues, drug addiction, alcoholism and so much more. In a weird way, they have the “same” story. Those hard talks we will have with Lillian, we will have with Michael too.
Both of our adoption stories ooze God’s sovereignty, of His plan A, a plan I didn’t even know to pray or hope for! From the beginning, God knew not only would Lillian and Michael be our children but planned they would be siblings!
Looking back on it all I feel so silly, like a child, for my reaction to being prayed over in June and getting my period. How was I so quick to forget what the Almighty had already done in our lives? How truly grateful I am for His unconditional love totally independent of my wavering trust and faith. Michael and Lillian’s adoption stories, although are both unusual in their quickness, I hope to serve as an example of how every adoption is different, YET completely part of God’s sovereign plan, and to be an encouragement to those in the process to expect the unexpected.
Dear friends, my prayer for you today is though you may be in the darkest of Nights, you would discover Hope in Him, knowing God’s Sovereign plan will rule. He is your Maker, your Creator and He wants what is best for you —of this I am certain!
Please comment and share with those who may need to hear her honest story. If you live in Nacogdoches, Texas (and surrounding East Texas areas) please join Katherine this Tuesday, February 28th @ 6:30 for a City-Wide Infertility Awareness Event as we learn how to support those going through this season and be supported if you are currently walking this road. Please come and share about this event with others, it is free and all are welcome. We are looking forward to celebrating the launch of Nacogdoches Waiting in Hope Local Ministry Group, for more details please contact Nacogdoches@waitinginhopeinfertility.com