Justin and I are both being refined and challenged in the area of trusting God. We want to fully and completely Trust God with our situation. Not just “saying” we are trusting, but instead a trust that leads you to rest everything on Him without watching or preparing yourself for what “could happen”. Far too often I think I am trusting God when I tell Him with my mouth “God I trust you” but it never reached my heart. I was falsely saying it in hope that the elusive trust would then be created in me. I may often say it when really I’m keeping a close watch on my emotions, feelings and plans to “guard my own heart.” But let’s be honest, neither of those options will bring real peace or comfort to our soul.
Only true and complete Trust in our Lord and Savior can do that.
This kind of trust starts with a confidence and faith in Christ, as you turn your mindset to be that of “God you are who you say you are and you can hold all things together. Therefore I Trust you with all my being, for you know the plans and you are able to do anything, even the impossible. But regardless of your plan, you will and are the only One who can hold me together whether good or bad!”
With this new approach in Truly Trusting…thus far we’ve experienced peace regardless of the circumstance. During the treatments, IUI procedure and even in the current waiting to know if we are pregnant.
Waiting is a whole blog post for another day… but anyone going through this knows that all you experience is WAITING. Constant, continual and reoccurring waiting. And who’s good at that?
But it seems that when you are fully trusting (with your whole weight, heart, expectations) the waiting becomes easier, crazy I know. But I’ve experienced that God can do that, He can turn your waiting into a pleasure (maybe not always that far… but an assured promise). When your focus is on Him and His plan, not you and your desperately needed plan, He moves in. BIG. And right now I am daily thankful for Him moving Big in my heart, because I desperately need that.
Here are a few examples of ways He has been moving…
(keep your eyes open and looking, I promise He is speaking)
Last week we realized that for a while now Justin & I were both praying and reading Psalms 33:20-23 daily over our current situations. (Read We feel so blessed… where I previously wrote about this scripture.)
And today during worship service, we sang “Waiting Here for You” (by Christy Nockels) and wow I couldn’t have picked a better song at that moment to bring before the Lord. Soon after the song ended a dear friend (passed me a note... so high school I know - I loved it) she shared a verse in her sweet note that of course began my tears. But the verse was actually one I had been writing in my journal and without realizing it praying through this week. Psalm 130:5-8 “I wait for Jehovah (Lord), my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchman wait for the morning. O Israel, put your hope in the Lord, for with the Lord is unfailing love and with him is full redemptive abundance. He himself will redeem Israel…”
Interestingly enough, while writing this Pandora was playing a song expressing my thoughts and words perfectly, I had to stop and add them. God’s Amazing that way. (See I told you...look for ways He is speaking, just ask for Him to show you - it helps in the waiting times)
Bethany Dillon “All That I Can Do”
Oh, all that I can do is hold onto You
And follow where You lead
Where You’re leading me.
And all that I can do is hold onto You
And let You bring me through, oh
When the waves begin to rise
And all my hope fails
In confidence I’ll close my eyes
Trusting You’ll be there, be there
All that I can do is hold onto You
And let You bring me through
It’s all that I can do
In this dreaded 2 week wait, all I can do is hold onto the Lord, trust and let Him bring me through like the perfectly timed song reminds us. It is truly all that I (you) can do! Waiting isn't as hard even when the water rises and all our remaining hope fails when we choose Trust over our expectations and desires we instead surrender saying "thy will be done, Amen!" Lord, you've got this and "in confidence I'll close my eyes - trusting you'll be there."
Friends, are you or do you realize that all you can do is hold onto the Lord our God during your waiting? Or are you like so many out there more focused on holding on to your own ways and plans, like a selfish little child, shaking your fist "I know better" "where have you been?"
Is your waiting only about and for it ending? Is your waiting only about and for your desired answer?
2 Corinthians 4:18 - So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (NIV) So we don't look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever. (NLT)
Or even in your waiting and unknowns, you are concerned more with the glory of God and His goodness to be known. Not merely to display your own efforts, resolutions, and deserved earthly blessings. This became my prayer in and for my heart. That I would become more concerned with His glory, His will, and His will to be done in and through my life and infertility journey. I pray this would become your prayer and focus in your waiting and trusting too. Amen.
2 Corinthians 1:20 (NIV) For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God.
Hebrews 11:1 (MSG) It is the confident assurance that something we want is going to happen. It is the certainty that what we hope for is waiting for us, even though we cannot see it up ahead.